swan wrote:Would you .....
1.Have a relationship with someone who said no sex before marriage or could not have sex for a personal reason?
2. Have a rel with someone who did not do oral or who was really awful at it.
3. Or give decent hand jobs, or indeed any foreplay whatsoever.
4. Or snog well.
5. Would you get fed up with bad technique and dump them or try to teach them.
6. Or would you put up with all of the above in the hope that they'd change their minds/techniques, and how long would you put up with it until you got fed up and buggered off.
1. Yes... and that relationship would be a "friendship". Also note that I plan on NEVER getting married again. Marriage is a scam. I've done it once... and I make a point of not repeating past mistakes. Anyone who puts the condition of marriage on having sex to my eyes is trying to sell me a glorified prostitution and emotional/financial slavery package. And I certainly wouldn't be sexually "committed" to someone who says 'no sex'. I don't enter relationships in the hopes of staying celibate.
2. Yes I would... and as a matter of fact, I *was* in a relationship with someone who was awful at it... It wasn't an issue since she enjoyed vaginal and anal sex a lot. Plus she enjoyed when I did oral on her... which I enjoy doing. Plus I'm not hung up on *needing* to receive oral. I'm more of a giver.
3. No decent hand jobs or foreplay? Again... we're into friend territory. I don't enter relationships in the hopes of staying celibate.
4. Snogging... kissing... that's something that can be learned/taught. Yes, I would put up with that.
5. I would try to teach. Note that 'teaching' would involve *experimenting* and *practicing*... a lot. Heh heh heh
6. I wouldn't put up with it without saying anything. I don't expect people to read my mind. Nor do I claim to be a mind reader. I believe that if you want something... or want something to change, any emotionally mature person would speak up.
If the person wasn't open to changing anything, I wouldn't necessarily get fed up and bugger off. I would just tell that person that I'm dating/going to date other people. There's more to a relationship than just sex. But I'm not going to be in a sexually committed relationship to someone who doesn't want to have sex. And I definitely will NEVER play the idiotic "no sex before marriage" game... waaaaaay too risky even if I got lucky and the person I married was good in bed.
Marriage is the leading cause of divorce.