POFUsers.com - Plenty of Fish Users Forum

Just curious if anyone would like to share the reason why they broke up?

Seems there's so many great sounding people on this site,its made me wonder..............

Im happy to go first.......my last serious relationship broke up coz after nearly 20 years our relationship had morphed into a friendship.
'Twas a monogamous,committed relationship,but in the end,there was no sex,no passion,no romance,no surprises............we really were 'just' friends.
Oh,and before anyone asks,YES,i DID try all i could to keep the romance and passion burning but he was more complacent and didnt put any effort into anything.
Wasn't a deliberate thing on his part but he was happy to stay in a rut,whereas im quite gregarious and wanted to get more out of life than him.
Im sure a lot of you can relate.

Here's the kicker........i realized i was "alone" in the relationship,so,decided to end it.
And,after 10 mths of no contact whatsoever i had to contact him AND HE DIDNT EVEN REALIZE THE RELATIONSHIP WAS OVER..............................!!!!

Wtf?


Im happy to say,though,that to this day(6 yrs later)we are still the best of friends.
I went on to meet and date MANY men during the past years and he's still on his own--hasnt had one date.
Would love to hear other peoples' stories........

Because she (they) started telling me: what I was doing; why I was doing it; and, how I was feeling about it.

"It" being, whatever it was I did that upset her.

No need to stay where you have no voice. Period.

just a memory....

Omg I've just gone back over a few reasons for breakups and I'm laughing cos it's all just too screwy to say.

However I will share ....
The marriage ... tried to hold it for 10 years longer than I should've, I set us both free. He's getting married in 2 weeks.

Oh my gawddddd I don't think I can go through all that again, but lets just say. We married, we had a family, we fought, we split, we divorced 20 years ago and now we are dating again.

If there were good reasons I think I might have forgotten them. Or perhaps those issues weren't really as important as we made them at to be. At That Time.

My first significant relationship (2.5 years) I sacrificed on the altar of my career; hurt him terribly and spent several years beating myself up for the evil person I obviously was. We sorted out a friendship and forgave each other some years later. His wife isn't comfy with exes as friends so we haven't chatted in a few years.

Spent a couple of years not dating at all.

The next one in my twenties was a brilliant bastard (and part of my beating myself up process). I eventually ended that (2.5 years) when I realized *duh* all the brilliance in the world didn't make up for a lack of kindness and if I had no intention of ever marrying him, why continue?

Spent a couple of years not dating at all.

The first one in my thirties, I married for all of six months (total relationship = 2.5 years from first date to divorce). Pulled the plug when I realized he was using and had no intention of quitting. An interesting year - married, pregnant, separated and gave birth within a 12 month period.

Spent about four years not dating at all and contemplated not having another relationship evah.

The next one, my longest relationship @ 5 years, began as friends and ended with an affair. Sorting out the debris of our relationship took almost twice as long than the time we were together.

Spent a couple of years absolutely numb and even more seriously contemplated not having another relationship evah.

Then I met a fellow who I wasn't in love with (and told him) but as he had a series of horrible things happen in his life and I was gutted from the last relationship, I kept putting breaking up with him on hold. A holding pattern for - you probably guessed it - 2.5 years.

And then I met my sweetie and warned him he was on borrowed time.

i cant remember... i reckon thats a good sigh that i am over it

ItsMargo wrote:My first significant relationship (2.5 years) I sacrificed on the altar of my career; hurt him terribly and spent several years beating myself up for the evil person I obviously was. We sorted out a friendship and forgave each other some years later. His wife isn't comfy with exes as friends so we haven't chatted in a few years.

Spent a couple of years not dating at all.

The next one in my twenties was a brilliant bastard (and part of my beating myself up process). I eventually ended that (2.5 years) when I realized *duh* all the brilliance in the world didn't make up for a lack of kindness and if I had no intention of ever marrying him, why continue?

Spent a couple of years not dating at all.

The first one in my thirties, I married for all of six months (total relationship = 2.5 years from first date to divorce). Pulled the plug when I realized he was using and had no intention of quitting. An interesting year - married, pregnant, separated and gave birth within a 12 month period.

Spent about four years not dating at all and contemplated not having another relationship evah.

The next one, my longest relationship @ 5 years, began as friends and ended with an affair. Sorting out the debris of our relationship took almost twice as long than the time we were together.

Spent a couple of years absolutely numb and even more seriously contemplated not having another relationship evah.

Then I met a fellow who I wasn't in love with (and told him) but as he had a series of horrible things happen in his life and I was gutted from the last relationship, I kept putting breaking up with him on hold. A holding pattern for - you probably guessed it - 2.5 years.

And then I met my sweetie and warned him he was on borrowed time.

I was going to say, at 2.5 years you must start getting jitters...lol.

For me it was just growing in different directions for my first break up. If your not on a common ground , it make sit difficult to work it out.

In the intervening 12 yrs, have had various short term relations , most ended because i really jumped in too quickly, and wasn't ready to be in a relationship.

One had some serious substance abuse and mental issues.

Now I have an aversion to relationships...LOL.

swan wrote:Omg I've just gone back over a few reasons for breakups and I'm laughing cos it's all just too screwy to say.

However I will share ....
The marriage ... tried to hold it for 10 years longer than I should've, I set us both free.

That sounds Sooo familiar.But I refuse to regret it because I still feel that it was right to hang about for the girls.(Kept confrontation down to as little as possible for a long time)

I probably knew on some level the day I got married that I was making a mistake...just thought it was cold feet..and would have been too afraid to halt it at that point anyway...

After ten years, the last two spent in marriage counseling, I came to the conslusion that we were horribly mismatched,and that wasn't going to change...the fact that we were, and always had been, best friends, was not enough to sustain a marriage...i did what I thought was best for both of us, and though he resisted for quite a while, even after the divorce was final, he finally admitted I had made the right decision..he thanked me, saying he never would have, but, would have stayed miserable indefinitely..he's remarried to a very nice woman who is more of what he desired, with children and very happy...

I understand where you're coming from Zangie. My ex met someone very soon after I left him and very quickly went from 'deserted and heartbroken' to loved up and living together within a few weeks. They got married a couple of weeks ago, which confirms that I did the right thing even though I was painted as the evil heartless b1tch for doing it. I do wish people would understand there are two sides to a marriage breakdown and it is never just one person's fault.