POFUsers.com - Plenty of Fish Users Forum

Big Hugs savona and cyst & deceased...that sure sucks...

Makes one nervous to try again doesn't it?

After two years of dating while working together in the same dept and three living together( last one married)
I broke up with him because he had a frightening temper that was never revealed till I was four months pregnant with our planned, long awaited baby. Until then, he was everyone's favourite nice guy including mine. At work, with my parents, our friends. Then he turned ugly but only with me in the privacy of our own home. I truly feared for my life and it was no way to live. I left for good when our son was four months old. He had secretly devastated me financially and I was officially destitute. I am still recovering from a practical point of view and it is 22 years later.

What helps me is to help other women to get the courage to leave, under similar circumstances. Unfortunately, our provincial govt has wiped out funding for transition houses and most are closing within this year. I will be forever grateful for the shelter who took me and my infant in when my husband told the police it was I who would have to leave since the lease to the house was only in his name.

I do not regret leaving despite the enormous price our safety and freedom cost.
.
In my new profile avatar I am four months pregnant (staying with friends to stay safe) and working on the last episode of the series where my husband and I met and worked, before I was obliged to leave that job to stay out of his way.

Well with my last SO, it seemed we had everything figured out. We were in the settling down stage. We saw eye to eye on many things, family, career, etc. Things seemed to be on track towards a long-lasting, if not permanent relationship. One day not too long ago, her cousin from out west gave her a call and told her about a position that opened up in her company, it was my ex's dream job. She looked into it, and did a few phone interviews. Then she approached me with this and explained her change of heart in regard to our relationship, she wanted to go for the "dream" job as she felt it would likely be her last chance at something like this before getting too old to be considered for something like this job. She flew out to do a face to face interview... and got the job.

She packed up and off she went. Spoke to her on the phone once after that, it was very awkward, and I'm sure I came across a bit bitter, but tough sh*t, I was.

Anyways, I'm just up for casual dating or one-nighters when they happen for the time being. Also looking into a few different personal projects to start, music lessons for one. Always wanted to learn how to read, write, and play music. Even have a classical guitar stashed somewhere in the garage.

Well what is there to say when things come to an end.

Sometimes a break up is so hard when love just isn't enough. The pain of being left.

And then there are times it becomes a relief. Like taking a deep breath.

Myself, I am taking a really deep breath now. I find it amazing that a relationship that seemed to have so much potential can be so easy to let go. It was honestly fun to try again, after all how many get a second chance? I wanted to try again, I got to try again, and now I know ... going back can be just going backwards.

On to the next, hey after all we all know men are like buses and there is a new one by every 15 minutes.

Gawddddddd got to get my new buss pass for September before it expires ...

Everybody on board !!!!!

Hey Savona I'm sorry it didn't work out but maybe this second try was what you both needed to fully let go of the past? I can't comment on your situation because I don't know but I do firmly believe that if things come back to us it's unfinished business one way or another, and best worked through and brought to a conclusion rather than ignored. Maybe this is why you're able to let go so easily this time. (((hugs))) xx

Because after years of mental and physical abuse I said 'enough is enough'... On top of his gambling addiction and womanising, I kind of thought I deserved better and so did the children..So at 12 midnight holding two black bags, we stuck a pin in the map and off we went to pastures new..(Best decision I ever made!)...
I suppose for years after I just wanted it to be me and the children, no man had a look in. After several years I settled down with someone who was 15 years older than me.. (may be looking back I got into that relationship as a 'safety' opinion) I knew he was not going to hit me etc..After 8 years the age gap widened and so did 'ideals' and future plans..No drama just decided to end it and be friends, of which we are to this day.
Then I fell in and out of relationships for a couple of years, not really wanting to settle down, but had this mad idea I could not be alone.. Broke that pattern 2 years ago when I made a conscious decision that being single' was the new 'being with someone'..I enjoyed my independence and put my work/career first.
Now I have met someone who is on the same level, we met through work, I was not looking for anything nor was he..Strange how things turn out..I suppose it is true what 'they' say..It happens when you are not looking*

Page,Storm................its really frightening to read personal stories about abusive men and im soooo glad you're both now safe and free !!!

And,Storm.........i met my man when i wasnt even looking,too,and up 'til then,i would never have believed that ole saying!

Savona,so sorry to hear about you and D,but at least you opened your heart to the possibilities even if it didnt work out.
Ive often heard that the same things that break people up in the 1st place are often still there on subsequent re-tries

Why Did You Break Up?

He smelt like pickled eggs.

I made a conscious decision that being single' was the new 'being with someone'

A warm long hug to you storm and a tip of the glass to you for setting yourself free from that kind of hell.

savona... i admire you for taking the chance you did....

its a scary thought to put yourself back into a painful situation..

i think you were mad, but i still admire the courage it must have taken to take that chance..