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Personally age is irrelevant to me, I've dated older and younger and I have friends who are from 18 to 80, it's the person I like being with not their age/success/youth etc. I haven't considered myself a cougar or a gold-digging dolly bird and neither have the people I have had relationships or am friends with. My point was that there are some people who do judge and thus are attracted accordingly.

We are all the same to some degree.We watch what we want but can not have doing what they want to do instead of doing what we want them to do.
I do not know why people waste there energy on shallowness?

I don't feel like that or watch anyone in that way Stress Free...

I agree Swan, I also have friends of all ages who I'm comfortable with, have never had relationships with much older men, just a year or two and mostly younger, but it's never been an issue. For those who it is...good luck to them, but don't judge the rest of us or presume everyone else thinks the same way.

It's likely that those successful men who do actively seek a much younger woman, do so as yet another trophy, like a new sports car, designer clothes and Fine Art, to make them feel good and advertise their success

And cougars.

The difference is, the older woman is facing an ever smaller pool of available men in her age range, far harsher judgment from society and being female (arguably) more emotional damage to herself.

And cougars.

The difference is, the older woman is facing an ever smaller pool of available men in her age range, far harsher judgment from society and being female (arguably) more emotional damage to herself.

But, don't women in the "cougar" age range (40s, 50s, I think it is) have the same size pool of available men in their age range as do men in their 40s & 50s? The population doesn't really shift to more women than men until a significantly older age, because men still die younger (though the gap is closing).

I don't think older women are judged more harshly, either, to be frank. An average kind of single, middle-aged man doesn't get a lot more respect or attention than an average kind of single, middle-aged woman.

But, don't women in the "cougar" age range (40s, 50s, I think it is) have the same size pool of available men in their age range

Sorry I am not making myself clear.

The assumption/hypothesis here (and it is a big one) is that the Cougar is really acting out some ego building behaviour that will ultimately prove somewhat unsatisfactory as she is not likely to find a long term relationship with a young guy.

The longer she is in that phase the older she is getting and so as the number of available men of the same age as her is dwindling.

The competition for men around the same age as her gets more intense as she ages.

I think you are applying the Cougar term, inappropriately....not all women in a relationship with a younger man have actively sort it, for their egos, or other spurious reasons, just as not every man is a Wolf, a Sugar Daddy, a Gigolo or pervert.

FunkyMonkee wrote:
The competition for men around the same age as her gets more intense as she ages.

Maybe when we're in our seventies we'll just have to date each other. That will be an interesting new phase, put a little spice into old age.

lally wrote:I think you are applying the Cougar term, inappropriately....not all women in a relationship with a younger man have actively sort it, for their egos, or other spurious reasons, just as not every man is a Wolf, a Sugar Daddy, a Gigolo or pervert.

OFC not.

We can only talk in general terms or with reference to statistics that only ever represent a view on the total population.

Going with the definition of cougar as an older woman on the prowl for sex with young men, I can't see how one would be the slightest bit concerned with a long-term relationship with the young man she finds.

Then again, I don't think women are morons. Or obsessed with Disney fantasies. Or, generally speaking, desperate for d1ck.

Frankly, the vast majority of men I meet are interested ONLY in a sexual relationship, and that's all they are offering. The older guys try to pretend they are interested in something else; the young guys are refreshingly straight up.

That's fine - want whatever you want. Doesn't mean I have to take him up on it. Or believe his line of bullchit about wanting "more."

Given a choice between the pudgy 40- or 50-something I met online offering me another try at "sex" with a d1ck that doesn't work, and one of the fit 20-somethings who approaches me in real life, this old hag is about ready to choose the second option.

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In my 20s I wouldn't have even considered, much less dated, a man more than 4/5 years older than me.
By my 30s, I had ratcheted that up to 6/7 years older than me.
Old farts tried; I'd just shoot them down. I thought they were disgusting.