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swan wrote:

FunkyMonkee wrote:Women 40 + complaining about there not being enough men available around their age range are right. They need to up their game if they can. The situation is only every going to get more competitive.

Oh gawwwwd I best keep going to the gym then!

No worries, Swan, it seems by our fifties there are a lot of great men out there who have come to terms with the end of a long marriage and are thrilled to find some good company and are ready for a load of fun. In my neck of the woods it's a woman's game again, plenty to pick from.

So maybe just some mild exercise that you enjoy.

Pmsl Joy. That's too funny.

One woman over did it it seems.

Bwahahhahah! Ok that IS funny!
I work with women models all the time
and they are required to be picture perfect
before they go on set.

I have NEVER seen one of them look at themselves
anywhere near as much as that "blonde"
(with enormous tell tale black roots and fried hair,
so why bother?)and unlike her that is part of their job!

Pretty face and slender body, I will give her that,
but SURE seems obsessively into herself and the mirror.

Upping ones game isn't necessarily trying to compete in the same market niches.

That is obviously why offering easy sex to younger men works. So does thinking about what it is an older guy likes about an older woman and promoting that side of you.

Bitching about there not being enough men wanting 40+ women around after dating 50 in 2 years (and suggesting that isnt actuall that many !), or flaunting toy boy conquests probably isn't it.

No offence taken. I agree with you Levi. My comment was purely about weight, I totally agree that men are judged far harsher than women for other things, certainly success/confidence and as you say combine the two and it certainly explains why these age groups pair off this way.

I'm confused by this Swan...are you saying that couples with wide disparity in age, specifically older women and toyboys, are together because they are both rejects in their own peer groups, for what ever reasons? That seems rather harsh...I've always imagined that there would be a variety of reasons, and not all cynical.

FunkyMonkee wrote:Upping ones game isn't necessarily trying to compete in the same market niches.

That is obviously why offering easy sex to younger men works. So does thinking about what it is an older guy likes about an older woman and promoting that side of you.

Bitching about there not being enough men wanting 40+ women around after dating 50 in 2 years (and suggesting that isnt actuall that many !), or flaunting toy boy conquests probably isn't it.

I actually think you've made an interesting point there (after all that gross stuff on another thread when I thought I'd never be able to take you seriously), food for thought anyway...but not everyone serial dates like that, and a lot of us feel less inclined to be competitive, as time goes by.

FunkyMonkee wrote:Upping ones game isn't necessarily trying to compete in the same market niches.

That is obviously why offering easy sex to younger men works. So does thinking about what it is an older guy likes about an older woman and promoting that side of you.

Bitching about there not being enough men wanting 40+ women around after dating 50 in 2 years (and suggesting that isnt actuall that many !), or flaunting toy boy conquests probably isn't it.

I may be clueless, but when did this become about promoting oneself, moreover to a market niche?

In my world people are just looking for some joy, we meet, chat, discuss, reveal, sometimes hit it off and sometimes even fall.

Looks like I've fallen out of the loop again here, I just don't get what all the fuss is about.

rapidly becoming my favorite smilie

lally wrote:

No offence taken. I agree with you Levi. My comment was purely about weight, I totally agree that men are judged far harsher than women for other things, certainly success/confidence and as you say combine the two and it certainly explains why these age groups pair off this way.

I'm confused by this Swan...are you saying that couples with wide disparity in age, specifically older women and toyboys, are together because they are both rejects in their own peer groups, for what ever reasons? That seems rather harsh...I've always imagined that there would be a variety of reasons, and not all cynical.

I can understand how it can be seen as cynical, that's not what I'd meant though, so my apologies if it came across that way. I'd originally said that women are judged about their weight more than men, Levi had said men were judged harsher for other things which I agreed with. What I'd meant was quite the opposite to how you took it, I'd meant that the older men who judge women for their age and weight often go for the younger women and the younger women who judge men by their success often find older men attractive. Obviously these are not all the reasons for age gaps, many people meet and age really isn't an issue, but as the topic is about why 40+ men are looking for younger women it seemed a relevant pov.

Thanks Swan...I had a strong hunch that my interpretation was wrong.

It's likely that those successful men who do actively seek a much younger woman, do so as yet another trophy, like a new sports car, designer clothes and Fine Art, to make them feel good and advertise their success. We can't help but admire things that look good, and for that reason I understand why men would always feel more attracted to younger women, initially anyway. It's only shallow if they are prepared to compromise other attributes, important in a relationship, for looks. pórn images perpetuate the young, slim image, and I think it's ingrained. Also, 40+ can be the start a mid-life crisis, and fear of getting old, and maybe having a much younger partner by one's side and in one's bed, is a way of keeping it at bay. Not everyone wants to grow old gracefully or with dignity!

I actually think it is more about attitude than anything else. I've never minded men who wanted to date older or younger (than me) cuz it is what they want. I've never had any lacking in finding compatible people. Oh, except for those few years around 40 where I seemed to bump into a string of guys who had their biological clocks keeping them awake at night and wanted to find a woman who would be willing to have another child. That was a bit disconcerting. Beyond that, no problems.

Without giving it *any* thought, I have always tended to date older tho'. So I guess back in my 20's I woulda been one of those women men in their 40's were interested in. I've found my preferences did shift as I got older; suddenly 10 - 15 years older than me was feeling a little long in the tooth and no longer as good of a match. At 40ish I wasn't interested in having discussions about when to retire... that felt like one foot in the grave. So my age preference gradually, and quite naturally, shifted closer and closer to my own age. DBB/Moose is positively ancient at one month older than I am.