Too much sexual innuendo =harassment?[MOVED TO PROBLEM PAGE]

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Too much sexual innuendo =harassment?[MOVED TO PROBLEM PAGE]

Postby Roxy127 » 20 Jul 2010, 17:15

I have a part-time job in a Hotel and i LOVE it.....

But,tonight a "regular" customer became too overbearing with all his sexual innuendo...
I was really getting sick of it....
Usually,i deal with it really well and just laugh it off but tonight,he was unrelenting and his joking around become quite offensive.

This customer is a regular and well liked by everyone and im really not too sure what,if anything i should say to my Boss?
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks,friends!

Ps.I meant to post this in the Problem section.............
Friends,Love & Laughter.....
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Re: Too much sexual innuendo =harassment?[MOVED TO PROBLEM PAGE]

Postby dotcom » 20 Jul 2010, 19:41

Tell your boss. You are supposed to be safe at work. Doesn't matter if it's a broken ladder or a weirdo customer. Make sure your boss handles the situation immediately! Insist on it. There are way too many creeps in the world. If he is brave enough to make sexual innuendos when there are other people around I don't want to think how brave he would be if he caught you by yourself in a dark parking lot. If you were my employee I would be in that guys face in a heart beat. My staff is treated with the upmost dignity! I will not tolerate anything less! Tell your boss you need his help because you are unsure of how to handle the customer & would like him to intervene for you. I'll bet you are not the only one having problems with this guy.
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Re: Too much sexual innuendo =harassment?[MOVED TO PROBLEM PAGE]

Postby Stress Free » 20 Jul 2010, 19:47

If you are unsure about doing anything about it yet then tell your boss on the understanding that your boss will not act on it unless the man cross's the line again. This will validate everything to your boss if and when the next time happens.
x
:)
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Re: Too much sexual innuendo =harassment?[MOVED TO PROBLEM PAGE]

Postby cyst & deceased » 20 Jul 2010, 20:22

I deal with this crap on a regular basis.

These guys usually don't have the balls to do this in front of your boss. Use it to your advantage. My boss prefers that we handle these things ourselves, as he isn't there to hear what happened.

It's time to stand up for yourself and be assertive. Tell him very directly that you want him to stop it now. Stand up to him. Deal with him. You can do this.

I have handed men the telephone and offered to let them call my boss or the police. Not one has ever accepted the invitation.

My boss just laughs when he hears about it and tells the dirty old men not to piss me off.

Ironically most of them come back, apologize, and fly right afterward.
by hungry_joe » 01 Apr 2011, 21:46

DD

There are just times and days you have to ask yourself what have I become, what have I done, and how did I get this way?
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Re: Too much sexual innuendo =harassment?[MOVED TO PROBLEM PAGE]

Postby belinda » 20 Jul 2010, 22:56

Roxy127 wrote:Too much sexual innuendo = harassment?

Is there a definition of what is too much?

Roxy127 wrote:I have a part-time job in a Hotel and i LOVE it.....

So this is going on while you are at work? You know, i would get very funny looks if i started making sexually-suggestive remarks to the bank teller or the baker shop assistant. Why should your customers treat your job any differently?

Roxy127 wrote:But,tonight a "regular" customer became too overbearing with all his sexual innuendo...
I was really getting sick of it....
Usually,i deal with it really well and just laugh it off

So in the past you have shown acceptance of and amusement at what has suddenly become unacceptable behaviour? Any idea why he might have thought it was acceptable tonight? It wouldn't have anything to do with the fact that you have accepted it before, would it?

Roxy127 wrote:but tonight,he was unrelenting and his joking around become quite offensive.

In my opinion, such behaviour would have been offensive from the first remark in a professional setting. You let him get away with the first remark. You laughed at further remarks. If you tell him now that his remarks aren't acceptable, he is going to be very confused, isn't he?

Roxy127 wrote:This customer is a regular and well liked by everyone and im really not too sure what,if anything i should say to my Boss?
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

i would start with a contrite apology to the Boss as she / he has to rescue you out of the hole you dug for yourself by believing that it was OK, even amusing, for the customer to make such comments to you in the first place.

And next time refuse to be treated as an object for sexual remarks when you are working.

When you are not working, i find a swiftly-raised knee works wonders.

:o
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Re: Too much sexual innuendo =harassment?[MOVED TO PROBLEM PAGE]

Postby dotcom » 20 Jul 2010, 23:15

How absurd! To assume it was her fault, to suggest she apologize to her boss & to suggest she risk being arrested for assaulting a customer/person is just ludacris. Tell your boss! That is part of his job! Let him handle it like he was trained to do. Do not risk getting into a loud verbal confrontation with this customer, you may loose. Most professional people know you never loudly confront, embarrass or humiliate a good paying customer. You never intentionally put yourself in a situation where you make a spectacle of yourself or your company.

So the jackazz is going to be confused, oh the poor poor baby! He knows he has taken advantage of her. He knows he is stepping over the line. He knows what he is doing. He knew it the first time he made an unacceptable remark! He's a vulgar mouthed bully & he knows it!

Apparently this has gotten to the point where you are unable to handle this on your own so tell your boss!
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Re: Too much sexual innuendo =harassment?[MOVED TO PROBLEM PAGE]

Postby Roxy127 » 21 Jul 2010, 03:14

i would get very funny looks if i started making sexually-suggestive remarks to the bank teller or the baker shop assistant. Why should your customers treat your job any differently?

Belinda,i hear what you're saying but this ISNT a bakery or a bank.
Its a pub and so the atmosphere and social setting is quite different-- people kicking back,having a few drinks,etc etc.........

So in the past you have shown acceptance of and amusement at what has suddenly become unacceptable behaviour? Any idea why he might have thought it was acceptable tonight? It wouldn't have anything to do with the fact that you have accepted it before, would it?

Men flirting in pubs is to be expected and so,yes,ive accepted it.
Im a friendly,chatty person,and its par for the course.
HOWEVER,he was over-the-top last night and beyond "acceptable".
That's the difference.
i would start with a contrite apology to the Boss

Huh??? *I* havent done anything....!!!!

Thanks for the contributions from everyone so far and i want to let you all know that im no wallflower.
Im a grown woman and when i see "Damo" again,im going to have a quiet word with him myself!!

****I think sometimes that being chatty and friendly(as i am),some men misconstrue this as a sign of personal interest in them****

Thanks again,fellow Posters....
Friends,Love & Laughter.....
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Re: Too much sexual innuendo =harassment?[MOVED TO PROBLEM PAGE]

Postby dotcom » 21 Jul 2010, 13:08

Very good! I'm glad to see you have stepped up & taken back your control. Keep us posted. :)
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Re: Too much sexual innuendo =harassment?[MOVED TO PROBLEM PAGE]

Postby Roxy127 » 21 Jul 2010, 13:41

Thank you,Dot....

As i said,im no shrinking violet.
I'll be there agian Friday night and if i see him(which i probably will)i AM going to say something to him.
Im all for "public relations" and fostering a friendly,welcoming atmosphere for the patrons,but i also recognize when someones gone over the line.
Thanks again for your supportive message :P
Friends,Love & Laughter.....
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Re: Too much sexual innuendo =harassment?[MOVED TO PROBLEM PAGE]

Postby cyst & deceased » 21 Jul 2010, 13:57

Take it for what it's worth; here is my suggestion. When he comes in don't say anything about yourself at all. Treat him like any other customer. When and if he starts getting gross, speak up.

I am here to work. Can we please leave my personal life out of it?
No disrespect, but can we please keep this professional?
Would you mind not making references to my body please? It bothers me.

When they get really disgusting I say something like:
I love men, just not you.
Isn't your wife waiting for you?
No thanks, I prefer a man who respects me.


I hope you do mention it to your boss. He needs to know.
by hungry_joe » 01 Apr 2011, 21:46

DD

There are just times and days you have to ask yourself what have I become, what have I done, and how did I get this way?
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