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I work with one of my sisters (I'm the oldest in my family). Until about a year ago, our positions were mostly lateral, because any other arrangement would be untenable for both of us. We have both been with this firm for over ten years. Last year they laid off some support staff, and for reasons still unclear to me ( though nothing I can do about it..and with today's economy..not going to push it, though my ego has suffered...lol), I was loaded down with a majority of the work those people were doing ( and this work is way outside both my stated positions, and my skill set).....I have taken two pay cuts since then, no raises in 4 and a half years...I have mainly bit the bullet, and armed with a promise from my boss, that if things improve I can go back to doing just my real jobs, which are time intensive themselves. I have hope.

My sister and I are opposite ends of the personality spectrum, and it takes some effort on my part to avoid clashing over our different ways of doing things any day.

Here is my problem...these new responsibilities of mine partly fall under her perview..specifically a phone schedule..we no longer have a receptionist, and because my office is closest to the window...I get it about 90% of the time....normally, the secretaries divide up the phone schedule...it is part of their job description..for reasons I still don't know, but suspect have something to do with my being her sister, thus less likely to cause an issue, or be mad at her...she has assigned me the bulk of it...more than the secretaries, whose job it actually is to do this normally..in addition to the receptionist thing...

I have tried approaching her in a non confrontational manner verbally to ask her to please re do it..I have three full time jobs I already do, and with the window and phone thing ( which makes it near impossible to get the normal work done) I am using at least 4 hours of an 8 hour work day doing thing outside of my primary responsibilities. I am a few months behind on the less critical aspects of my job because of it... She ignored me...so, I wrote it down, and tried to explain why this is an issue, and asked for her help..she just got angry and said something about being fired ( which she doesn't have the authority to fire me) for writing this request ( in which I was very diplomatic as I always am)...so, I dropped it again..

IF she wasn't my sister I would have gone over her head at this point to my boss..because I am stressed out trying to do all these things efficiently and well, I'm behind, and feel like I can't catch up...and I feel really taken advantage of...though I' m also worried about the issue of jobs being scarce and I shouldn't complain...(which they are aware of, and our taking advantage of in my opinion)

Thing is..going over her head creates a possibly bigger problem..she will be furious, and she holds grudges, and the work environment for all will suffer..I'm caught between a rock and a hard place? What would you do?

PS: I have read that men , generally, are much better at navigating this kind of thing in the workplace, so any help /advice from the guys would be appreciated too...

Tell her firmly that if she isn't willing to sit down and talk rationally in order to address your concerns that you will go over her head.

Give her the option first before taking things futher.

Thank you Restless...evidently you are the only one with any advice..and it is good advice..I'll try that ...

Z- I'd help if I could. All I can say is be diplomatic and assertive. I never had a sister. I understand it can be a complex relationship.

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Can you work from home on, say, one day a week?

Can you begin work earlier before the phones start or leave later after they have stopped - time-shifting?

Can you speak to the secretaries and arrange a sensible equal shares rota between you to present to your sister?

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This is pretty profound but a true potential turning point in my life. I met my ex while I was Head Chef of a restaurant back in 91 when she was a waitress.It was for the waitresses to do the washing up too as well as the kitchen floor at the end of there shift. One quiet evening I was the only Chef there and she was the last waitress at the end our shifts.
She stated that I best do the floor because she was not going to do it as it was not in her job description blah blah blah...
The manager and ess did not want anything to do with our stand off at all,she ended up walking away and I ended up doing the bloody floor!
For a few of valid reasons I considered ending the relationship from that alone,but we ended up together 15 years.
I have seen so many relationships end simply due to people both working and living together. It does also depend on the specifics though.

Zangie,id read your Thread but really didnt know what to advise you and still dont

I can only imagine how time consuming answering the phone all day must be and meanwhile you're getting further and further behind....must be very frustrating.
Think id talk to your sister first asking for any suggestions she may have to help you.
And,tell her that otherwise you'll have to (go over her head) and speak to the Boss.
Think that's what Restless suggested and i think that's about the only thing you can do?
Good luck with it.....tell us what happens!

Honestly, Zange, I think I'd put a fresh resume together. I know I've stayed in a job longer than I should have, the devil you know, but still, even the offer of another job might give you the energy to take back a little control over the one you have. I know the economy's bad, but people still change jobs, they're out there, and it sure sounds like you're getting the short end of the stick.

As levi says, just a thought.

Yep you are sure between a rock n a hard place.

That is too bad that your sister acts like that towards you, but you probably already know that you are perhaps too soft with her too and that she might feel like she can treat you in such a manner.

There are times, separate from family that you have to take a stand. My sons work together but one owns the company and the younger son works for him. so there is no crossing the lines there. But my younger son has said many times if he didn't like things he would just move on rather than hurt their brother/best friend thing going on.

Everyone should be happy at what they do, if they can. i don't see the need for you to give up your happiness at your job in order to satisfy her attitude. You could just tell her that if she doesn't adjust the schedule that you will be going over her head. Let her deal with it. As long as you allow her to push you around she will.

I know you are the main nice girl here, but sometimes being nice .... well I perhaps don't want to say anymore. So don't take this in the wrong way OK?

you really have two choices here, Do nothing or do something

If you do nothing, your younger sister will know she can control and manipulate you, and I wont be surprised if there is further lay off
you might be the second casualty

If you decide to do something, Document everything, keep thorough notes, write down what you do in the day time during work hours

Try this for about a month, then sit down with the sister and discuss and if nothing is resolved, then go to the boss, at least you will have documentation backing up your claims.