POFUsers.com - Chat and Flirt!

Roxy127 wrote:

zangie wrote:I hate being forced to do things more and more as I age..lo.don't know if it is latent rebellion or what...

Zangie,its just intrusive and none of anyones' damned business,imo!
If and when you're getting to know someone,these and more questions would be touched upon,along the way,as you're getting to know each other,dont you think?
So many people must be lying to ALL these impertinent questions...........

I grow horns when I lie...lol...
Actually I can't lie with a straight face, or a straight type...lol..

It isn't anyone's business, and it has no real practical value...actually, myself, I don't ask anyone how long their longest relationship was..I might ask why it didn't last...

I'm in a bit of an odd situation on this issue because I'm not experiencing the "invasion of privacy - it's none of their business" feelings that many seem to have. I do, however, think the question can lead to incorrect assumptions.

I'm in the situation of having had a relationship that lasted 25 years, and that alone would make some people think I'm suitable for a relationship. Add to that the fact that that relationship was til death did us part, again it would make some people think I'm suitable for a relationship. But - and it's a BIG but - I'm not. I got lucky, lucky, lucky, once in my life, and met a particular man, did everything "wrong," and had a one-night stand with him that lasted 25 years. Then he died. Now I'm back to my "not relationship material" phase.

Man, you'd think people would take you for your word on that, but they don't. They think I'm still grieving (obviously, I am in a way - the best friend I ever had in my life died, but I'm not pining for him in the way some people envision), or that I'm in some sort of hurt-based denial. But they're wrong. I was never a "relationship" person. People talk about a girl's fantasies of romance and weddings and such, and I simply never had them. I "saw" myself, even in very young years, as being a solo walker. In fact, I had moments of disconnect during my adulthood when I realized, holy cow, we've been together for five, 10, 15, 20, 25 years.

To be frank, even though I gladly picked the "Not Interested In A Relationship" drop-down on POF when that silly option appeared, I haven't gone back to the dating/email portion of the site to answer the "relationship history" part. I'm not much one for lying about such things, but I'm also not particularly eager to launch into long, boring explanations to nice, decent guys who are looking for someone who's "good" at relationships. It's exhausting and embarrassing.

So if someone was to think it was the stupidest idea because they feel like they are being unfairly judged.

Then would it not be safe to assume that you would be turned off by someone that would give such a silly question any weighted value with regards to forming a pair bond.

If so, then it is working to help eliminate people that you would not be attracted to in the first place.

So that is a bad thing how?

Because even if they had a tendency to do that, i wouldn't judge them on it. I would give them a chance. But because of this question I'm far less likely to get a chance to give them a chance. I don't think life is so logical.

While were on the subject of POF and it's misguided ethos, this is the message you get if you go to the resign page, whether or not you are now in a relationship:

"If you are leaving because you found someone make sure you complete the Relationship Needs Assessment !. It will tell you what you need in order for a relationship to succeed, a list of things you over and under value in your relationships, ie where you tend to screw up. It will also give you a list of 33 topics you can ask your partner. Its better to ask these questions now than to stumble on them later!"

Could there be a more condescending, robotic pile of horse manure?

danmirta wrote:Because even if they had a tendency to do that, i wouldn't judge them on it. I would give them a chance. But because of this question I'm far less likely to get a chance to give them a chance. I don't think life is so logical.

While were on the subject of POF and it's misguided ethos, this is the message you get if you go to the resign page, whether or not you are now in a relationship:

"If you are leaving because you found someone make sure you complete the Relationship Needs Assessment !. It will tell you what you need in order for a relationship to succeed, a list of things you over and under value in your relationships, ie where you tend to screw up. It will also give you a list of 33 topics you can ask your partner. Its better to ask these questions now than to stumble on them later!"

Could there be a more condescending, robotic pile of horse manure?

Considering that anything on POF is Markus, I think it's fricken' hilarious.
Since when has this guy become an expert on 'relationships"?

I'd bet whatever money he has, that I had 2 times as many women before I got out of high school, than he's ever going to be with in his entire lifetime...

I simply fail to see the problem in answering a fair question.

I think a few of us got tired of being merchandised for profits. Even a pimp daddy takes care of his girls once in while. These seemingly innocuous questions were thinly veiled marketing research, and nothing more.


So quoth the raven.



That's what is so great about hiding behind a fake avatar. No one is judging by appearances.

BTW- I dreamed my avatar came to life and challenged me. How's that for a mod zombie?