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Today my childs martials arts instructor has pleaded guilty to the charges against him and will be sentenced on the 27th July.

A young man at the age of 24, with his life in tatters.

Guest7 wrote:Today my childs martials arts instructor has pleaded guilty to the charges against him and will be sentenced on the 27th July.

A young man at the age of 24, with his life in tatters.

Your last line suggests that you have some empathy towards a fully grown adult guilty of the most despicable of crimes.

Which begs the question:

Just because you know the person guilty of a crime,is it right to view the crime more charitably and making it a more forgivable crime in that individuals case?

That is your perception of what I have written.

I do not have empathy for him but can see that a life has been destroyed by a lack of self control. The knowledge of a person who on the surface had a lot going for them and has thrown it all away does not make me happy.

I’m glad that in this case someone did the right thing and tipped the police off about his behaviour which resulted in him getting caught and preventing him committing further offences.

I think my thread on Soapbox Moment expresses my views on people who commit crimes against children.

Guest7 wrote:That is your perception of what I have written.

I do not have empathy for him but can see that a life has been destroyed by a lack of self control. The knowledge of a person who on the surface had a lot going for them and has thrown it all away does not make me happy.

I’m glad that in this case someone did the right thing and tipped the police off about his behaviour which resulted in him getting caught and preventing him committing further ofences.

I think my thread on Soapbox Moment expresses my views on people who commit crimes against children.

I understand your position well G7 and my question was more a general one on the differences of knowing someone guilty of a bad crime and not knowing them.
I just used your post as a crutch.

Knowing someone who appears stable friendly and approachable is bound to make one question ones judgement after they have committed such a crime.
My thoughts are that some crimes do not deserve any empathy at all.
How many people would understand a father,mother or partner who continued to be an apologist for someone like Hindley/Bradey or Hadden Clark in America, as examples?

Take it from me. I have been there.
99% of people who "play" and "satisy their curiousity" with little children do not think they did anything wrong. In fact, they will come up with all sorts of validations...one being "she liked it"...I was giving her pleasure...."
Oprah had a wonderful show on recently in which she had child molesters as guests. Not one of them thought they had really done anything wrong. They all had validations.

Made me sick.
My stepfather also had his validations. He wanted to "teach" me that sex is to be enjoyed. He felt it was his duty.
Just that I had a loud mouth on me...and a very nasty disposition towards him...and he didn't get anywhere except for gropings when I was asleep. He did this for almost ten years and the last time he did that I told him that I was going to take his balls off and I went and got a knife. Then he finally understood.

It has damaged me for most of my life. It has affected my relationships with men. I have trust issues.
My mother looked the other way...so I also have parental betrayment issues.
Been to counselling.


Any person who fiddles with children ought to be strung up......by their balls.

Belle Lass wrote:Take it from me. I have been there.
99% of people who "play" and "satisy their curiousity" with little children do not think they did anything wrong. In fact, they will come up with all sorts of validations...one being "she liked it"...I was giving her pleasure...."
Oprah had a wonderful show on recently in which she had child molesters as guests. Not one of them thought they had really done anything wrong. They all had validations.

Made me sick.
My stepfather also had his validations. He wanted to "teach" me that sex is to be enjoyed. He felt it was his duty.
Just that I had a loud mouth on me...and a very nasty disposition towards him...and he didn't get anywhere except for gropings when I was asleep. He did this for almost ten years and the last time he did that I told him that I was going to take his balls off and I went and got a knife. Then he finally understood.

It has damaged me for most of my life. It has affected my relationships with men. I have trust issues.
My mother looked the other way...so I also have parental betrayment issues.
Been to counselling.


Any person who fiddles with children ought to be strung up......by their balls.

Wow Belle, I guess that a sign that your able to deal with such a massive experience is the ability to talk about it.
I have no time for apologists of abusers or the "justifications" that abusers come up with.
I bet your experiences have made you strong?
x

Stress Free wrote:

Belle Lass wrote:Take it from me. I have been there.
99% of people who "play" and "satisy their curiousity" with little children do not think they did anything wrong. In fact, they will come up with all sorts of validations...one being "she liked it"...I was giving her pleasure...."
Oprah had a wonderful show on recently in which she had child molesters as guests. Not one of them thought they had really done anything wrong. They all had validations.

Made me sick.
My stepfather also had his validations. He wanted to "teach" me that sex is to be enjoyed. He felt it was his duty.
Just that I had a loud mouth on me...and a very nasty disposition towards him...and he didn't get anywhere except for gropings when I was asleep. He did this for almost ten years and the last time he did that I told him that I was going to take his balls off and I went and got a knife. Then he finally understood.

It has damaged me for most of my life. It has affected my relationships with men. I have trust issues.
My mother looked the other way...so I also have parental betrayment issues.
Been to counselling.


Any person who fiddles with children ought to be strung up......by their balls.

Wow Belle, I guess that a sign that your able to deal with such a massive experience is the ability to talk about it.
I have no time for apologists of abusers or the "justifications" that abusers come up with.
I bet your experiences have made you strong?
x

Sometimes I resent it when people say an experience like that makes someone strong. It could be taken for justification. SF- I know you didn't mean it that way. My perception can be skewed at times.

I think strength is a character trait. I once heard an attorney defend a child molester because he was molested as a child, and he didn't know it was wrong. I think that's bullshite because a lot of outstanding human beings were molested as children and they didn't continue the cycle.

Belle, my heart goes out to you. I once posted my experience on a forum and was called a liar. It's not easy to share with strangers and I admire your courage.

cyst & deceased wrote:Sometimes I resent it when people say an experience like that makes someone strong. It could be taken for justification. SF- I know you didn't mean it that way. My perception can be skewed at times.

Such experiences either do make you stronger,have the opposite effect,or are met with little effect due to conditioning or having a sense of self loathing due to previous experience.
It does take a strong character as well as help and support to deal with such trauma's.
Of course there is usually a journey before it can be claimed that an experience has made you stronger.
I'm sure that we all know people who's experiences has messed them up to some degree too,even just temporarily.

I think strength is a character trait. I once heard an attorney defend a child molester because he was molested as a child, and he didn't know it was wrong. I think that's bullshite because a lot of outstanding human beings were molested as children and they didn't continue the cycle.

Sometimes even the strongest can be beaten by there experiences,esp if there seems no end in site and your totally "on your own".But yes,some do pull through by shear determination and strength of character.
The bottom line is that we all have a sense of right and wrong,as well as having a consience,when we are not being too selfish to use it!

Belle, my heart goes out to you. I once posted my experience on a forum and was called a liar. It's not easy to share with strangers and I admire your courage.

I agree. Personally I only share what I am comfortable to share with others.Everyone has there own comfort zone when posting. That is why I suggested that Belle must have a handle on that experience and its effects.

Thankyou.
It is a hard subject to talk about sometimes. There are times when I can talk about it freely because I am strong. Other times when I can't.

I resisted him because I am naturally strong in disposition. That is what saved me.
My sister wasn't strong. He groomed her and was having regular sex with her since she was eight.
She is a beautiful mess to this day. Many broken mirrors later....many men later....she hates me....she hates our mother.
There is so much more of the legacy....so much more.

My biggest hurdle to get over? I couldn't save her. The guilt to this day is deep.

These people who do this have no idea what the damage they do.

I'll probably get beat up for this one, but it makes me sad. Perverts just don't get it, they don' get what they are doing is disgusting & wrong. They pull out every excuse in the book, because they just don't get it. It's like they have that one missing gene that tells us that hurting a defensless child is just wrong. It makes me sad that they are missing the part that tells them that little kids are to be loved & cherished, not violated & used as sex toys. I can't even imagine going through life thinking little kids are sex objects, it makes me sad, but not so sad that I wouldn't want to cut his friggin balls & pecker off!